What I Learned in 2022

Holistically, 2022 was one of my most complex and emotionally taxing years yet. The lessons I learned cannot be compartmentalized because of how much hardship, pain, and spiritual questioning I went through. However, I am going to try my best to list out five tangible ways that 2022 brought me some of the biggest blessings. Those blessings just happened to come from some of my most trying days yet. How is this applicable? Well, we are all humans. We all want a similar end goal– a joyful life that is fulfilling, and one that we can look back on with confidence and satisfaction. The way in which we get there and the hoops we jump through, however, are different. That is why I wanted to share this in the first place, to allow others to see how I got to where I am. However, I am not perfect, and am still learning everyday. It was not a smooth ride to get to 2023, but I did it, and I am proud of myself. I praise Jesus for the experiences he has given me in order that I might learn these things at the mere age of 20. 

Being a victim of high anxiety and valley-low bouts of depression, I have learned a lot before hitting my 20’s. Being diagnosed with both at 13, I have always perceived things differently than many of my peers. The way I see life has had to be adjusted by the ever excruciating pain of depression and the daily battle with anxious thoughts. That being said, I tend to be a deep thinker and continually consider my life in a very detailed sense. Lately, I have had the urge to share some of these thoughts, and what I consider to be some of the most important lessons to learn in life. Though there are many, I have condensed my year experiences into 5 things I will carry into 2023 and beyond, and I hope you do too.

1. Sometimes Jesus gives us blessings only for a season, and that is okay!

Being a very sentimental person who loves very deeply, this is one of the hardest pills I have had to swallow. I get attached to things so easily, and this can be a blessing but also a huge curse. Just because you lose something does not mean that it wasn’t a blessing at the time given, it just means that it wasn’t meant to last forever. Moving from high school into full blown adulthood has landed me in a spot where I have had to go through the loss of many blessings that I was given in high school– and that is perfectly fine. I am content in this because God has also provided me with many gifts that I may not have seen if I didn’t go through some loss. I can confidently say this season in my life is one of transition, and though it is extremely hard to wait, God can use his people in any season, including the season of waiting.

2. Friends aren’t merely the people you play with on the playground

Sounds silly, right? Well, I think this is the simplest way to express what I am trying to say. Something I have had the opportunity to learn this year is the importance of deep, meaningful friendships. With these comes intentionality, purpose, and Christ-like love. While I can count on one hand the people in my life that truly fit under this umbrella, that is something I have come to be content with. Back in high school, I was all for the big friend group that met every Friday night to hang out and go to the weekly football games. That’s what friendship meant to me at the time, and that’s not a bad thing: It’s just simply where I was in life. However, as I have grown to be more mature, I have found that being a friend is so much more than that. Who is going to be there when times are tough, and really check up on you? Who will stay even when they have to put in more and more effort to make sure you are doing okay? Intentionality is one of my favorite words. It is something to be mutually shared and enjoyed in a friendship. In some of my hardest moments of 2022, I have learned the importance of showing intentionality in a friendship. While I was in some of my darkest days, I found those who are truly in it for the long haul. The people who truly invested in our friendship did not fail to be there when I needed them most– and they put their whole heart into being a friend. I have come to the conclusion that friendship is an act which is effortless– if people want to, they will. While it is not easy to understand this, it is true, and it has allowed me to be thankful for the ones I do have. On the flip side, I have learned how to be a more intentional friend to others through some of the hardships I have experienced. I want my friends to remember me as a friend that was careful with words, the first to be there in a crisis, and a Christ-like figure in their life. 

3. Having boundaries set in every aspect of life is important, and isn’t something to be taken lightly 

Throwing it back to my high school and early college years, I had close to no concept of the importance of boundaries. I poured my heart and soul into everyone and everything, and while it is good to have overflowing passion in your heart for these things, it can quickly take over. Too often, I sacrificed my mental health for things in my life that simply were not healthy for me. Without getting into too much detail (at least for now), I quickly fell into a rabbit hole that led me to the crisis of all crises. But let me tell you, this year I finally came to terms with the fact that it’s okay to do things for yourself too. As twisted as it sounds, I used to believe that it was good for me to be suffering mentally if it meant I was making others happy. Yes, it’s great to make others happy, but never at the expense of your own health. Being a good friend, son/daughter, brother/sister, boyfriend/girlfriend, etc actually means setting boundaries for yourself and your relationship first. It is great to be there for them, but not to the point where it is forcing you to sacrifice yourself on the inside for something on the outside. Sometimes what we think is healthy is actually slowly damaging us from the inside out. My relationships have already become so much more fulfilling because I have begun to take time for my own self. Whatever that may be, allowing yourself to pour your heart into something you are passionate about is healthy not only for you, but other people. Things I find refreshing for me are staying active, listening to music and playing guitar, and journaling my daily thoughts. All of these things allow me to spend time with myself and recharge my own battery. There is nothing wrong with it, and it is NEVER selfish!

4. Having passion is a healthy thing, but letting it take over is not 

Many of us can pinpoint that one (or two or three) thing(s) that lights a fire in us, gets us going, or acts as an outlet for our ever brewing emotions. For me, I have fairly recently gotten into working out consistently. I lift 5 days a week, and try my best to stick to a pretty strict schedule. I love moving my body and the way it makes me feel better, both physically and mentally. Need time by myself? Time for a lift. It is one of the activities that for me, acts as a beautiful escape. However, as my love for lifting grew into a passion, it also grew into one of my biggest enemies. For a while, (and I still struggle a bit), I was so focused on what lifting could do for me in the most prideful way possible. I wanted my body to look a certain way to the point where I was doing everything I could do to get there. This included spending excessive hours at the gym, restricting my diet obsessively, and constantly comparing my body to other girls on the internet. Yeah, exhausting. I allowed social media influence and the voice of the devil to creep into my mind (and he lived there rent free). Something I have had to learn this year is what it means to be grateful for lifting, by using it as a way to praise Jesus and not myself. God gave us the gift to move our bodies, but for the glory of Him who made us (more of Him, less of me!). This applies to everything in life, not just working out. Whatever it may be, having passions is a great thing, and it is a great way to praise the one who gave them to us. However, it is so easy to be swept up in the temporary, earthly value that they bring. Instead, let’s focus on how we can use them to further the Kingdom!!

5. There are always blessings to be seen, no matter how deep you have to look

Being in some of my lowest of lows this year, there were times when I found myself feeling pure discontentment from the moment I woke up to the moment I laid my head on my pillow. I was going through the motions, hoping that one day I would feel “happy”. Being a Christian, this was not a way to live and I soon found myself being passive and wishing my own life away. There were many times I thought “what is the point of it all”, “why me”, and so much more. Yes, 2022 was not one of the better years for me. I saw some of the lowest lows I have ever seen, and I was not always on cloud nine. However, Jesus laid the word “contentment” on my heart later on in the year, and I began implementing this in my everyday life, no matter what that looked like. The first thing I did was write down 5 things a day that I was thankful for. Let me say, some days it was much harder than others. Sometimes what I was thankful for was “the coffee I had this morning” or “the panda I got for takeout”. Even then, I realized the importance of setting your mindset in a positive direction. Doing this not only helped me see the brighter side of things, I was also able to see the good days for what they were. Sure, 2022 was full of tragic heartbreaks. But it was also full of so many new and old blessings, and each and every one of those is from Jesus (James 1:17). I am now able to find joy in the little things, big things, and everything in between. I have a fun night drive with friends? Thank you Jesus. A restful break with family? Thank you Jesus. Every good and perfect gift is from you.