my college life lessons (so far)

Coming home from my sophomore year of college, I began to reflect on what the last two years have brought me, what I have learned, and what I have lost. I thought it would be helpful to share this, because whether you just finished up your high school career and are headed to college in a few months, you’re in the middle of college, or you’re soon to be done with college, I think these words are worth noting. While these two years have gone incredibly fast, I have also found that I have changed in many ways. As I think about who I was in high school in comparison to who I am today, I become more and more thankful for where I have been. With that being said, I can easily say I have been in some of my lowest seasons in college. But these have also brought about many new blessings in my life that I could not have imagined in high school. In my experience and in my thinking, I have come to the conclusion that college is such a formative time in life where we are prone to tough and trying challenges. It’s a time of independence and discovery, but also a time of trial and error. But all these things and more have brought about lessons that I will keep close for the rest of my life. I condensed my thoughts into a few lessons that I want to take a few minutes to discuss, because let’s be honest, these are the things that keep me up at night (shoutout taylor  🙂 ). 

First things first: His will, not mine (stop losing sleep over things you cannot control!)

Understanding that His will over ours is best is one of the hardest pills to swallow. It is not a concept that is new to me, but it is something that I have recently begun to understand. For me, I have found that I all too often get wrapped up in my own plans and forget that there is a God who sees me and wants what’s best for me. I think this past year is my greatest example of putting my will over his. I found myself too many times becoming stressed and anxious because I didn’t have my future planned or I felt like I was “behind” in life. I was worrying that I made the wrong decision here or the wrong decision there. I had too many sleepless nights wondering what could have been had I turned left instead of right. All of those things are simply lies that should not have any place in my mind. Because God’s will is the one that has the ultimate say. There is no wrongdoing or wrong path I can take when there is a God who has it all planned out for me (Jeremiah 29:11). For you and also for my future self, stop losing sleep over things you cannot control 🙂 . This was me this year. Overthinking, however, only sends you into a spiral. I got so caught up in the questions of “what if” that I became too wrapped up in my own plans. I didn’t give any of it to God. I instead spent so many nights panicking myself to sleep which only led me to investing in a bottle of melatonin and so much grogginess (yeah, you can laugh at me, I’m laughing at me too). The lesson here is: give your worries to God, and ask him to give you peace throughout your day and as you sleep (it does make a difference!). Stop trying so hard and just be. 

2. You can’t rely on people for your happiness

Ever been caught in a spiral because of what someone said or did to you? Yeah, I am guilty of this one too. I am a people person and love to be with my friends, but when I get carried away in my relationships and overthink everything having to do with my relationships, I tend to be very disappointed. The truth is, people will disappoint you. I don’t care if someone is your best friend and told you they are in it for the long run. They will disappoint you at some point. That doesn’t mean they aren’t your friend anymore, sometimes it just means they are going through their own stuff too. Relying on God in trying times can be a difficult concept to grasp when God is not a physical substance sitting in front of us. But He is always there, and that is not contingent on anything you do. I get it, sometimes all you need is a hug from that one friend, or a conversation from another. But the hard truth is, they will not always be available. But God. God is always available, and he invites you to lay your burdens at his feet. God made it pretty obvious to me this semester that what he was teaching me was not being too reliant on earthly relationships, because people will not always be available to meet your needs. But God. He is the one who can fill my cup, and only Him.

3. It’s possible to find joy in the mundane

College life seems never-ending, and it often feels like the papers, projects, and meetings will never end. In the moment, you feel like you are caught up in a whirlwind that will never slow down. At times, it can even be exhausting keeping up a social life on top of all of that. But I have had to remember to take it all in, because no matter how hard it gets, I know I will miss these days eventually. With that being said, I try to look at the positives each day and note something good that happened each day. It can be as small or as big as I want, but doing this helps me stay on track and remember the immense amount of blessings I have been given. I have my roommate Hannah to thank for this. She was the one who often kept me accountable for this and never failed to ask me to share one positive thing in my day! Accountability is huge, so take advantage of that in your friendships !!

4. Loneliness is a lie

If I could take away one lesson from college, it is the fact that loneliness is a lie. The concept of loneliness is so complex in my mind, because it is a feeling but it is also a reality. Often when we feel “lonely”, it is the devil trying to make us feel like we are not enough or do not deserve to have the support that we have. This lie has never been more prevalent in my life, especially as I see friends come and go. But the reality is that I do have people that love me, people that support me, and people that would do anything for me. It is a matter of having perspective and understanding that the important ones will stay. If someone wakes up one day deciding they don’t want to pursue a friendship with you anymore, it is ultimately their loss and not yours. As I witness the changing of many friendships and sometimes feel like I have lost many, I remember the ones God has given me, and the ones he knew I needed in my life. The truth is that we do need relationships, but God is always there to turn to, even when it feels like there is no one else!

5. Intentionality goes a long way

While life can get busy and sometimes it feels like you have no time to do anything but study your life away, I want to note the importance of intentionality. Intentionality has many different dimensions to it, but I think what I have learned most is the intentionality that comes with being present in relationships. The independence that comes with college has taught me to be intentional with every interaction I have. This does not mean faking smiles or being over the top, it simply means remembering that the world doesn’t revolve around you. Take a step back and remember that there are many people around you that you can have an impact on each and every day. This comes in many forms, but for me it’s having that quality time with those that I love and being able to have good conversations with them (or sometimes, it’s reaching out to strangers to get coffee or a meal!). For example, the last night on campus this semester I went on a taco bell run with two of my good friends and we sat in my car and talked until 2am. It is in those moments that I find I become closer with people and can see the love of God in them. Being able to hear someone else’s perspective and understand that life is not all about your own wants is something so beautiful. So that being said, remember the old relationships, but also be intentional about seeking out new people and new conversations, because you’ll learn more than you ever thought you could, both about yourself and others. 

6. Your faith is going to be challenged the more you grow in your independence

Lastly, I want to touch on the biggest lesson that could ever hit me–having faith is hard. It is in no way a ticket to an easy life, and it comes with so many challenges the more it grows. Your faith will be tried, it will be challenged, and it will be stretched. But relying on God is so worth it, and the blessings you will see in your life do not compare to the hard. It also takes so. much. patience. As I have talked about in previous posts, waiting is so hard and often makes no sense to us. But we have this hope that God will remain faithful, and I am assured of this because I have seen it. I mean, he brought me through one of my hardest years, so that is all of my hope right there. It can often feel like there is no way out, or like it will never end, but we are children of God, and he does want what is best for us. He is “El Roi”, the God who sees :). 

While I am in no way an expert on the college experience, having two years under my belt leaves me hopeful for what is to come. God has been so faithful even in the hardest of times, and I am so thankful for the life-long friendships I have built! But my biggest piece of advice is that if college does not seem all that it is cracked up to be, you’re not alone and you never are. Stop putting the pressure on yourself to have “the best 4 years of your life”, and instead start relying on God for every good thing, because He is the giver of all good things. Even when it feels like a lonely season, it is an opportunity to grow in faith and friendship by leaning on others and God to get you through even the darkest of times. It is not always an easy path, but there is reward for those who put their full faith and trust in God and his plan!

 Here’s to resting and preparing our hearts this summer for what is to come!