How to Deal with the Question of “When Will it Be My Turn?” in the Midst of Endless Storms
I came up with this topic as I was on a treadmill at the gym as I tried to catch my breath, holding back tears as I thought “When will it be my turn?” When will it be my turn to see good come out of the pain I have been through this year? The questions, the uncertainty, the pain all came forward in this moment and I felt frozen, wondering, “when will it be my turn?”
A lot of these negative feelings often surface while I am scrolling on social media, or I see a picture I really do not want to see. Not only does it seem like people all around me have it all together, it can often appear as if people who have hurt me are being blessed through my pain. This feeling culminates in what I describe as feeling like God does not see me or hear me. It makes me feel like God has not heard my cries, my screams, or my questions for the last 6 months. But if there is anything I know about God’s timing, it is that it is always right. God does not promise an easy life, but he does promise that he will remain faithful during the most painful of circumstances.
Earlier this year I published a post about God answering prayers and his perfect timing. God’s plans for us are so intricate and so detailed that even down to the timing he has planned. I have also come to learn that he uses other people in my life to guide me in the way he wants for me. That person has what I want? Good for them, it is not in God’s plan for me right now. Maybe it’s that God wants me alone right now to fully comprehend his love and become more reliant on Him. Maybe he wants certain people in my life right now to teach me certain lessons. As I lost people this year and as I reflect on the people who got me through things, I am beyond thankful for their presence in my life. But I also remember the times in which they were not available or could not always be there for me. God was trying to teach me reliance on Him in a way I could not have imagined. I am beyond blessed to have learned these lessons, no matter how much it challenged my faith.
Patience is hard when it feels like you have been through the fire time and time again, and it doesn’t seem to be letting up. But what I have found is the more I go through these things, the more I see my faith grow. Keeping the faith is easier said than done in those moments, but may we always count on Him to be our fulfillment. He knows what is best for us and when!