how to be there for someone struggling with mental health
These days, it seems like everyone knows of someone who is dealing with or has dealt with mental health issue(s). Or maybe, it’s you. It is so prevalent today, and it is estimated that about 1 in 4 adults struggle with a diagnosable mental health disorder. What I have found, however, is that for those who don’t struggle or don’t have the knowledge, it can be hard for them to be of support to their friends that do struggle. And that is 100% understandable when mental health is one of the hardest phenomenons to articulate. There is never one particular explanation or reason behind a person’s mental health struggles. In fact, most of the time there are multiple layers to its roots. As someone who has dealt with it for most of my life, I have a solid idea of what it looks like to care for someone who is struggling, and the purpose of this post is to make you feel more comfortable in helping! Here are just a few of my tips that I have!
- Don’t try to say too much, let them do the talking
Often they are just as overwhelmed as you are. If they become too overwhelmed with questions, they may get more frustrated. Allow them to explain their thoughts in their clearest way possible, and let them lead the conversation.
- Don’t ask “where is it coming from”
More often than not, they are just as confused as you are. Though circumstances can increase the risk for depression and/or anxiety symptoms, those circumstances are not the primary issue. The primary issue is their brain feeding them lies that they cannot control. Don’t always blame the circumstances!
- Don’t try to figure it out for them
As mentioned before, mental health issues are usually not tied to one specific thing. It is a complex issue that has multiple levels to it. These levels can include genetics, new stressors, and other societal factors. There is not one clear answer, and trying to “figure it out” for them may only stress them out more.
- (Do) Be of comfort simply through your presence and your time
Oftentimes, someone struggling with their mental health feels lonely, and could use that extra care. But what is helpful usually does not involve doing much. Simply sitting beside them, giving them a hug, and letting them talk is usually plenty!
- (Do) Assure them you are always there for them
Many people struggling are fighting lies that they aren’t enough, aren’t loved, or are a burden. Assuring them that they are seen, understood, and loved is a great and easy way to be of help to someone. Sometimes even the assurance is what they need.
- (Do) Have patience
A big symptom of anxiety and depression is irritability. This can take a lot of patience on your end, but they need it. They are dealing with a lot inside their head, and that can leave their days exhausting and they may wish they could escape their own thoughts. Give them grace if they are feeling overwhelmed and seem short!
At the end of the day, no one is going to be perfect in helping someone who is struggling with their mental health. There is no quick fix, not one thing that can be said, and not one single solution. Being of comfort to them and asking questions is a good place to start. Don’t be afraid to reach out to them about it! A lot of people worry that is going to make it worse, but really this is what they need! They need people to be there for them in a troubling, dark time. With the increase in cases and an increase in stigma, you are an important piece to the puzzle!
