for when you’re tired…
I think many people can identify with a time when they felt as if they were “burnt out”. It is a natural response to prolonged periods of stress, the busyness of life, and the lack of rest. Let me tell you, I can understand what this feels like. In fact, as I am writing this, it is a Monday night at 8pm and all I want to do is go home, sleep, and spend time with my family. At this point in the semester, I feel emotionally, socially, mentally, and physically just… tired. To me, it feels like college is a never ending cycle of waking up to my alarm, going to the gym, going to class, doing homework, having a social life, and in the midst of that putting a smile on my face. Don’t get me wrong, I love to be a happy, joyful person, and I believe that God has instilled that in us through his Spirit. But in the midst of what I identify as simply “pressure”, it sometimes just feels impossible to keep up. Sometimes the last thing I want to do is cheerily smile at people in passing and say “how are you?”, as if I myself am not drowning in my own thoughts.
I often get in my own head and face cycles of feeling as if I am not doing enough. Our culture today tells us that if you are not on the go 24/7, you are doing something wrong. And frankly, that is just not true. But I fight that battle every day. I fight the internal battle of making sure I get all my assignments in on time, complete my 5-day gym split, keep up with my social life, and somewhere in there find time to spend time with the Lord. This is just not always realistic. I am a witness to that, because I’ve lived it. I’ve lived in a place where I find myself constantly plummeting into times of burn out. I feel drained all the time, have constant headaches, and am always on the brink of a mental breakdown. What I’m saying is this: it’s all fun and games to feel like you’re “accomplishing things”, until you end up here. And it sucks.
As crazy as it sounds, there’s something in my mind that tells me that if I do not spend x amount of time on something or with someone, I will lose it or lose them. For example, if I do not “keep up” socially, I am going to be without friends. So normally I will tell myself I can’t spend time resting in my room. Yeahhhh, that’s an immediate red flag for burn out. Friends are good for the soul, but it is only a matter of time without rest that I find myself drowning in bad mental health side effects. I believe that it is important to pour yourself into things that bring you joy, not things that suck it out of you. I’ve had to learn the hard lesson of drawing boundaries when I feel as if my energy is being sucked away.
If you feel as if you are in the spot where you are slowly “burning out”, I think it is safe to say you are not alone. Remember that rest is important, no matter how much you have on your plate. I find that if I am not taking time to do things for me and things that I enjoy, I will end up in a bad, bad spot. One major lesson I have learned recently is that the things that get you up in the morning (after God of course) are the things that you should be pursuing. It is nottttt worth feeling like you are “doing enough” to just be burnt out in the end. Spend time with friends who build you up, do things that give you the most joy, and count your blessings along the way.
I get it. Sometimes the last thing you want to do is plaster a smile on your face when all you can think about is how exhausted you are. I agree. I struggle with that more than anyone knows. But I think it is important to be aware of those feelings, and to do something about it. Just recently I had to quit a job I was anticipating starting this semester. I knew that in the midst of everything I had, a job would only drain me and rob me of finding any sort of peace in my life. I want you to know that you are never alone in feeling like life won’t let up, because I’ve been there. It feels like you cannot do anything to escape the hole of burn out, and you feel like your life will never get back on track. Being at practically the bottom of that hole, I know it is rough and it can feel overwhelming. But something I hold onto is that we have a God who loves us enough to listen. When no one else will. Give it all to God, and he will bless that!